Thank God for Arizona!

I went to Arizona last week to find out what was really going on over there, instead of the nonsense I was getting from unreliable news sources like NPR and the New York Times. I especially wanted to find out the truth about what law enforcement thought of the new law that was enacted in regards to illegal immigrants that has everyone up in arms.

I ended up talking to an Officer Renfro of the Phoenix PD at a local Circle K and asked him about the law. Renfro said he loved the new law and said he had already used it to detain a couple of "bad guys" and get them out of the country.

He told me he was patrolling his usual beat in Phoenix last week when he came across a couple of young men that he quickly realized had no business in the state of Arizona. "I was thinking to myself, if only some of those liberal commentators were here so they could see what is really going on. The fact is, here were two men who I was sure did not belong in this country and if it wasn't for the new law I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it."

How did Renfro know these two were illegals?

"It was obvious. Liberals will say it's profiling but I prefer to call it good police work. I think I first noticed the pasty skin, but it was mullets that gave them away. As soon as I got a look at them I said, unless they are a couple of carpet munchers they're from Canada. And they most assuredly were not carpetmunchers."

So, what did Officer Renfro do then?

"In the old days I wouldn't have been able to do anything. But with this new law I just went over and started asking some questions. I asked if they were with the Coyotes, eh? You know, the local hockey team. They said they weren't. Then I asked for some ID."

Then what happened, I asked.

" Well, first they say some BS about leaving their wallets at home. How they thought you didn't have to carry ID according to the US Constitution. Yeah, that's right they tried that constitution crap on me. Like I don't know my rights as a police officer. Then the little one says to me, Is there a problem Officer?"

Renfro was starting to get angry all over again as he told the story.

"I says, There sure is, Gord. I don't think you two are Americans. I just called BS on those two cheeseheads. That's when they came clean and admitted they were down from Medicine Hat trying to stay warm for the winter. And I get that. I understand what they were doing. But it's not right for a couple of hosers like that to come down and illegally soak up American sunshine that should be going to actual legal snowbirds from right here in the good ol' US of A.It's just plain wrong. And it's something that we as a nation should abide by. Not is we're going to continue to be a strong country."

I nodded as Renfro explained the situation.

"That's why I am so glad to be here in Arizona where the politicians gave us some tools to take care of the situation. Let's face it, if we wait for that crowd in DC to do something we'll all be saying things like oot and aboot and eh after every word. Heck, we might even end up speaking that gutter French they speak up in Quebec. If that happens even the Frogs will be making fun of us. And I'm not gonna let that happen on my watch."

I told Renfro I was proud of him. Proud of the people of Arizona, too. You see, I, for one, do not want to have to read cereal boxes in two languages any time soon. It's just plain un-American.